Children and plants

Since last I wrote, Farmer (I'm trying this nickname out for my husband) and I butchered the final two chickens. Very sad was I. But what's done is done. And they will feed us in a soup one day soon.

From my perspective, farm work seems to be running along if not always smoothly, at least enduringly. The wheat has been cut for straw, we are tasting zucchini and summer squash and I had my first juicy slice of cantaloupe a few mornings ago. Blueberries are being picked and frozen and picked some more. Last week, a friend and I loaded her son and Dandelion (daughter's new nickname) in a red wagon. With Little Leaf (my son's new nickname) on my back, we hauled the kiddos up a steep trail to Blueberry Hill so they could entertain each other while we picked for our families.

Like much of the country, we are in need of rain with no expectation of it in the next week. Having my own garden has made me even more aware of our dependance on the weather.

Perhaps it sounds a little odd but I've discovered an interesting parallel between gardening and parenting. Because my almost three year old is expressing her will more and more, my mother was sharing parenting/discipline wisdom with me recently. She observed that when you are exploring the ways to discipline and raise your children, you will have many occassions to try and fail and return to try something different. She says that one of the gifts of parenting is that you have the space to change your approaches without doing permanent damage (within loving parameters of course).

I was thinking about this when I commented to Farmer how nice it was that plants show you when they need more water or sun. After a few weeks with very little rain, my zinnias in particular were wilting and very evidently in need of drink.

But here gardening and parenting part company because Farmer responded that once plants are showing evidence of a lack, it is nearly too late to help them. He said that they might still produce but they won't ever be as healthy as they had been without the proper amounts of water and sun. This seriously challenges my struggles as a procrastinator.

Of course on one level, what is true for plants is true for children in terms of their basic needs: love, food, shelter, clothing. Without those needs met, children will be unhealthy and perhaps permanently so. But unlike my approach to gardening, I have room in my parenting to make mistakes. That is comforting as a mother who worries and is disappointed when I don't act like the mother I want to be (I imagine most mothers are this way). Thankfully, when it comes to parenting, children are a lot more resilient than plants. I hope that one day, they are a lot more forgiving too.

Final strawberry picking with Daddy

Strawberry jam

He's so proud of himself for pulling up