That tiny needle eye

For a follower of Christ, it might sound controversial to say that growing up, I didn't feel a strong connection to the person of Christ.  What I did feel was the presence of God the Father.  Maybe because I had a loving father, this was an easy leap for me to make.  I could understand a heavenly Father who was merciful yet insisted on discipline, one full of love and grace, yet requiring of holiness and righteousness (not that I was always righteous or holy myself).

But Jesus, I just didn't understand Him.  Intellectually, I believed he was both God and man, that He lived, died and was raised.  I understood all of that.

But I didn't get it.

However, I've recently been confronted with a reality.

Perhaps it's because I'm living and worshipping among Mennonites whose theology and way of reading Scripture is focused on Christ.  Maybe it's the studying I've been doing for adult Bible classes at our church.  Maybe it's the reading I've been doing on late nights when I'm the only one in my house with the light still on.

Or maybe it's my recent conviction that I need to be giving my time to serve other people.

A few weeks ago, I was reading a book called "Evolving in Monkey Town" by Rachel Held Evans.

Evans writes:
"From the start of his ministry, Jesus had a special relationship with the poor and the oppressed.  He even singled them out as special recipients of the gospel, saying, 'The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor (Luke 4:18-19).'...While earthly kingdoms belong to the rich and powerful, Jesus spoke of a kingdom that belongs to the meek and the gentle, the merciful and peacemakers...Perhaps most disconcerting to those of us who enjoy relatively affluent lifestyles, Jesus said that his kingdom is more accessible to the poor than to the rich...It seems that in the kingdom of heaven, the cosmic lottery works in reverse...all of our notions about the lucky and the unlucky...are turned upside down.  In the kingdom of heaven, 'the last will be first, and the first will be last (Matt, 20:16)'...Widow and orphans and lepers and 'untouchables' enjoy a special access to the gospel that I do not have." (p 150-152)

The reality that finally got my attention is that Jesus is the God of the poor, the oppressed, the weak, the widowed, the orphaned, the trafficked, the abused, the persecuted, the meek and the imprisoned.

And finally, I was struck by the reason I hadn't understood this Jesus-guy in the past.

I've never been poor, oppressed, abused, persecuted, imprisoned, and ahem, meek.  I didn't have that immediate understanding of Jesus that many people who have been poor or oppressed do that "real power belongs not to the strong but to the merciful." I was never going to be the first because I was already born that way.

At first, this made me feel a little depressed.  How could I ever hope to have a relationship with this Jesus when access to Him was denied by the very accident of my birth?  I was now the 'unlucky' in this flipped 'cosmic lottery.' This was bad news for me.

And then I felt a little relieved.  Because after I got over my pettiness at not being the first in the kingdom of heaven (boohoo, get over it), I remembered that there was more to the story

Sure, the rich can have a more difficult time understanding who Christ is (you know, camel through the eye of the needle stuff).  But with God, yes, all things are possible.  As Evans says, "I'd like to think that I'm a part of this kingdom, even though my stuff and my comforts sometimes thicken the veil. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control--these are God things and they are available to all regardless of status or standing." (p 153)

So, where does this leave me?  I have to ask myself that if Jesus is the God of the meek, the poor, the hungry and the sad, what do I do?

I think it has something to do with loving the people that Jesus loves.  Not in pity or as a way to get myself closer to the front in the kingdom.  But out of a deep compassionate love.  Because I was loved first.

Unfortunately, I don't have that love.  But I peeked through that needle eye and saw that with God, all things are possible.

"He says, more than just your cash and coin/ I want your time, I want your voice/ I want the things you just can't give me." (Derek Webb, The Rich Young Ruler)